Pretend
by mar-map
Summary: Irie Shouichi has trouble reconciling his friend with the monster he knows he'll become. (Set during their University years) 10051


(**Disclaimer:** I do not claim to own Reborn! in any way.)

Irie Shouichi stumbled into his room one hand clutching his head while the other reached forward to steady himself on his desk. His foot kicked the door closed behind him before he fell to his knees in pain. Both hands reached up to grasp at his hair, pulling the red strands until that pain became almost as intense as the one splintering through his mind. He could hardly think through the hazy, his vision blurry, so he closed his eyes.

The back of his eye lids became a projector screen, the images as crystal clear as if he were watching them live. He watched skyscrapers fall into rubble, smoke fill the air in toxic waves, but all he could hear was ghostly silence. Foreboding made his skin prickle and crawl. In all of them, these separate but equally disastrous cityscapes, one thing was constant, Byakuran's face plastered on posters or shinning in the sky like the sun or filling hundreds of television screens.

He was always smiling with a devastatingly haunted look in his eyes. It both terrified and infuriated Shouichi at the same time. He could _remember_ these worlds. He _remembered_ the feeling of terror when he'd encountered them, over and over again, and nothing he did could change them. They always ended with Byakuran's fear-inducing presence claiming the world for his own. He could remember now, wiping his own memory to ensure his place within this reality's Byakuran's good graces.

The pain was beginning to recede, and Shouichi wondered how long he'd been curled up upon the floor. Now that the memories were firmly slotted back into their proper places, it seemed his mind was no longer attempting to fight the onslaught. Pulling himself up using his desk chair, Shouichi collapsed into it, taking a deep breath of much needed air. His stomach protested violently, but Shouchi laid a hand against it to sooth the pain.

Opening the door he pulled out a bottle of aspirin, taking a few of the pills immediately. He emotions were still a bit tangled as he processed all of the information, trying to lock away the worst parts of the worlds, so he wouldn't have to think about them, all the fear and destruction.

However, Shouichi knew what he had to do now. This world hadn't been conquered yet, and he was one of Byakuran's most trusted friends. From his place he could monitor Byakuran and put an end to his tyranny before it began.

"Shou-chan?" Byakuran's voice called from outside the door accompanied by a soft knock. His friend sounded genuinely concerned. Well, of course he did, it didn't seem like this Byakuran had come into contact with his powers yet. All he knew was that Shouichi had had some sort of pain while they'd been studying, and he'd ran off to his room. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine, Byakuran-san, I'm going to get some rest. You should go back and study with the others." Shouichi sounded tired even to himself as he called toward the door.

"I'm coming in, Shou-chan." Before he could protest, Byakuran was pushing open the door. His bag and Shouichi were both slung over his shoulder. He dropped them both to the ground beside Shouichi's desk before kneeling at his side. "You're sure you're okay?" Byakuran asked quietly. "You look pale."

Shouichi nodded. "I just need some sleep."

"That's right. Let me help you to your bed."

"That's really not necessar –" Shouichi cried out again, pain just as intense as before grating at his mind when Byakuran touched him. His hand reached up to fist into his hair while Byakuran's arms wrapped around him tightly to keep him from falling. This time he saw all the time he'd spent with this Byakuran, when they'd met, studying until dawn before exams, creating Choice in their free time. They'd spent hours together, and Shouichi felt a sudden flood of affection for his friend that battle viciously with the feelings of hatred for the Byakuran's of all the other worlds.

Suddenly the idea of spying and betraying his best friend didn't seem like the set in stone resolve he'd had just minutes before. But, he knew he couldn't allow Byakuran to destroy this world like he had all the previous others. It didn't matter how close they were, or how much, dare he say it, that he loved Byakuran. Because he did, love him that was, not the monster from his past, but the friend who was guiding him to the bed, holding him close, while whispering gentle nothings to him while he rubbed soft circles into his back.

Shouichi turned in Byakuran's grip, kissing him firmly, feeling Byakuran's smile spread against his lips. He relished in the puff of air against him before Byakuran spread him out on the bed, trailing kisses down his neck. He failed to notice the tears springing to Shouichi's, but that was probably all for the better. Shouichi's emotions were tangled and confused, overly invested in Byakuran, unable to reconcile his gentle friend with the monster Shouichi knew he would become, but his resolve was adamant to stop the tyrant at any cost. However, for now, with Byakuran's lips warm against his skin, Shouichi could pretend that that would never come.


End file.
